What are grape mummies?
By Chelsie Vandaveer
April Fool's Day, April 1, 2002
In 332 BCE, Alexander the Grape wrested Egypt from the ruling Persians and made it part of the Greek Empire. Crowned the new Pharaoh, he sailed from the capitol, Memphis (Mit Rahina) down the Nile. Alexander dreamed of a new capitol sitting on the shores of the Mediterranean near the western edge of the Nile delta.
While his city was under construction, Alexander set out for Babylon to gain more ground for his Empire. He never saw his beloved Alexandria; he died in Babylon in 323 BCE at the age of 38.
Alexander's Empire was divided among his generals; Ptolemy took Egypt and returned with Alexander's body. Ptolemy I Soter began the final dynasty of Egypt. He completed the construction of Alexandria making it the seat of power, education, science, and art for the eastern Mediterranean.
The city of Memphis fell into ruins as its stonework and treasures were raided for public works projects. It did not regain its former glory until 2,277 years later when 'The King' purchased Graceland.
Ptolemy, having sampled (and helped conquer) the finest empires, recognized excellence in agricultural products. In a massive effort, the early Ptolemaic Dynasty revived Egyptian agriculture. Old irrigation canals were repaired and new ones constructed. Ptolemy introduced Indian cotton and new varieties of grapes. Cloth and wine padded the state treasury.
Egypt's wine industry bequeathed a new spiritually to the ancient world. Alas, grape production out-paced grape stomping. Millions of pounds of grapes were not attaining spiritual status. Egyptians believed humans attained immortality through mummification; perhaps grapes could also. But grapes found no higher plane of existence. Relegated to death on the vine, the souls of the grapes evaporated, drifting over the trackless sands of the Sahara.
Our language holds on to events--the history forgotten, but the word lingers. The etymology provides the clue to the name of the mummified result of grapes too long on the vine. Raisin: rai- (ray) from the Egyptian sun god, Ra, and -sin from the ancient Hebraic sin meaning fault, falter, hurt, and bad--the sin of Ra or ray's sins.
Reeko's Mad Scientist Lab has an experiment for those bored silly by Mondays.
Click here to make Happy, Dancing Raisins
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